Dark Days and Nights

During my darkest days it was hard to believe the sun would ever shine again.

The other day I saw the neatest thing, clouds were creeping down the mountains, and it was happening ever so slowly. While it looked eery, I was more intrigued by the sight of it. It brought to my mind  how dark clouds in life sometimes sneak up on us. While we may KNOW that hard times may soon befall us; other times difficulties arise like a smack in the face. I have experienced both types, and sometimes both types at the same time!

I had some very dark and dreary days about 4 years ago. It often felt like the storm clouds would never part. I found it hard to believe anyone who told me things would get better, it felt like the sun would never shine my life again. It seemed like one thing after another just kept beating me down. I was sure I couldn’t handle anything else, and then sure enough something else would happen. I imagine it’s how one would feel if they were drowning in the ocean.

Thankfully that was not the case, life did get progressively better. Now that I am finally on the other side of that storm I see the sun shining and it feels so good. I truly appreciate the beautiful days because I have been through some of the worst times imaginable. If any of you are experiencing storms in your life, believe things will get better. Keep pushing on, and do what you can and trust God with the rest. Even when it seems the storms won’t ever part, just know someday soon the sun will shine again.

Life’s Mountains

Mountains have always captivated me. They are so tall, strong, and immovable. Recently my oldest sons were able to hike up a mountain (I am currently too pregnant to undertake such and endeavor). The boys were convinced it would be SO easy, they thought they could run right up that mountain to their desired destination. How wrong they were! As they began their journey they took off running, but quickly lost momentum. These boys didn’t even get a quarter of the way through their hike before they realized they were going to have to walk the rest of the way.

This got me thinking of ourselves and life. How often do we start something and go full speed ahead, only to lose momentum part way through the journey? I know I am guilty of this very thing in my life time and time again, especially when I am faced with a challenge–a mountain to climb if you will; I want to just get through it quickly. So I take off running and then lose all my energy as I realize the journey is going to be more tedious than I expected.

I’ve had to change my way of thinking so I don’t get too tired too quickly in my journey through trials and difficulties. When faced with a challenge I’m trying harder to find the silver lining and to have more patience with the journey. An amazing thing can happen when we slow down and try to find joy in our journey, even during the difficult times We might notice beauty around us that we wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. Just as my boys noticed, when they slowed down, so much beauty around them. As we take the time to slow down, we too can recognize more of the beauty that surrounds us. Even during the most difficult of life’s journey’s.

For the Love of Music

Music invokes many emotions, and I love it. I love this time of year and having Christmas music on all the time. I love the feelings of joy and happiness through such fun and spiritually uplifting music. Music is a great way to let feelings out and feel like someone at sometime knew how you felt and wrote it down.

I could talk about my top 50 or so songs, the ones that have meaning for me personally… who wants to read about that though?! I will share a couple of my favorite songs for this time of year.

O Holy Night by Gentri, and if this song doesn’t give you major feels then I don’t know what will. The video goes along so perfectly with this wonderful time of year.

Hallelujah by Pentatonix is beautifully done, and a wonderful song.

Mistletoe and Holly by Frank Sinatra because it reminds me of my grandpa. He use to always say “By golly” in the cutest way, something that has stuck with me all these years.

Silent Night by Michael Buble, he has a great voice and this song just fills me with warm feelings.

I wold love to hear some of your favorite songs and why they are favorites. This is the season of sharing after all!



The Most Wonderful Time of Year

I love Christmas time and all the happy warm feelings that surround us at this time of year. This year my church has established a way to bring the Light of Christ into our lives at this special time of year. Everyday there is a suggestion of things we can do to give gifts to others through service. It isn’t grand things, or costly things either (which I appreciate as I prepare for Christmas for 6 kids!). The things that are suggested are such things as visiting the sick or elderly at nursing homes, sharing favorite scriptures, and donating clothes.

As a person that has struggled financially for all my life I love the feeling of giving to others when I know I can’t monetarily. I love the feeling that service brings and I especially love sharing these things with my kids. Each day they ask me what we are doing the next day! They too look forward to doing things that they are capable of, and that feeling we get doing these things together.

Last week we went to a nursing home and visited people that don’t normally have visitors. I wasn’t sure if my kids would be on board to go see strangers, but they surely surprised me. We went and they loved it! My youngest especially loved talking to everyone and showing them her little toys and trinkets. They are excited to make soft cookies and go see them again next week. This is the real reason for this time of year, making ourselves more Christlike and remembering the reason for the season. I hope we can all do things that bring us closer to Christ, and feel the love He has for each of us.

If you would like more info feel free to visit this website and learn how we can all LIGHT the WORLD.



Feelings of Gratitude

The month of November is almost over, and I wanted to share a few thoughts of things I am grateful for this year. The past 4-5 years have been a whirlwind of trials and heartaches, some days I didn’t know how I would survive. It is hard to believe how far I have come, or been brought, after all that I have had to go through. As I look back on those difficult days I feel like I was prepared for them from the beginning of my life (not that I would ever want to relive any of that again!).

I am grateful that I have a loving Heavenly Father that has given me this life. I am thankful for the wonderful people that have been His hands and have helped me when I needed it most. There are many people in my life that have been an answer to prayers, whether they knew it or not. This includes my family and some really amazing friends. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband and the love I have found in him. I am grateful for my amazing kids and their tenacity after all that they have been asked to endure in their young lives. My extended family, which includes people that have become adopted family, is made up of some loving people.

This list can go on and on… to include sweet friends, this free country I call home, the church I am a part of, and the good health my family and I enjoy. During the dark days it can be hard to remember all these things which we have to be grateful for, but it is important to remember these things. The dark days come and go, an in the end we are left with scars from those trials, but they shape us to who we are as individuals. They afford us the chance to see what we are made of and how to have empathy and compassion for others. So I am even thankful for the hardships I have had to endure.

Learning to Breath Again

My life has been one  of many struggles and hardships, which has led me to always be on high alert for the next “big thing” that is going to come and knock me down again. It is an unfortunate way to live life, and one in which I have tried to overcome for a long time. It’s not easy to do though when things keep happening in our lives.

A couple years ago I sat down and met with my church leader about some struggles I was going through with my ex. I told him how hard it was for me to enjoy good times or days in life because I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. He warned me that I needed to take care to not become cynical with that kind of attitude. This suggestion took me back a bit, I had never thought of myself as becoming cynical. When your life seems to be one trial after another it is hard to not be expecting the next hardship that is sure to come!

How do we do it then? How do we keep ourselves from just anticipating the next bad thing to happen and instead enjoy the good days when they are present? I haven’t found the magic answer as of yet, but I am open to any ideas and suggestions! I do, however, try really hard to appreciate the good days when they come around. I also try to remember that I have survived a lot of bad days already, so I have a wonderful track record of getting through them . Therefore the hard days that may be ahead …well there is a good chance I can get through them as well. On the days when I haven’t felt like I was going to get through them I know I have been carried by a Higher Power, and that gives me great comfort as well.

My Favorite Time of Year

I absolutely love this time of year. Right after Halloween is over–that’s my favorite. I love fall, the crisp air, the changing of the season, and the preparations for Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving because it is all about giving thanks and having gratitude for what we have. I enjoy the thankful posts on Facebook and how so many seem to be trying to see the bright side of things. I wish there was a way we could hold onto this spirit through the whole year (we for sure needed it before this awful election this year!).

I know in my own life I have much to be thankful for , and I am reminded of so many things on a daily basis. I am thankful for the wonderful dinner we will be able to enjoy together as a family on Thanksgiving, and all the other meals my family and I have each day. I know there are many people who aren’t as fortunate, in fact I know first hand what it is like to not have enough food to fill my stomach.

I am so thankful for my family and the love that surrounds our home, even on the difficult days. I am thankful for the freedoms we enjoy in this society, which sometimes seem to be taken for granted. We truly have much to be thankful for, not just at this time of year but all year long. When things look grim and he are full of despair let us try to look at all the things we have to be thankful for in our lives.




This word is a new one for me, it means “to change in appearance or form”. Of course I thought of Halloween and the costumes my children wore this year! Then I figured most of you have had your fill of seeing Halloween costumes this year! As a last ditch effort to hold onto warmer weather I thought of a butterfly and how it changes so significantly in its life. Kind of like us, hopefully by the end of this life we have a might transformation and turn into something beautiful.


When You Hear A Song

Music has the power to take us back in time, to calm us, to empower us, or to energize us. I love to listen to music, and I like to listen to all different types of music. Some members of my family grow irritated when I listen to the same songs over and over again, but it feels like the song just longs to be listened to by me ears!

One song in particular holds a very dear place in my heart, Mercy by One Republic. During 2013 I went through the most difficult year of my life. I don’t remember most of it because my brain has blocked a lot of it out. I do know there are many days that I have no idea how I made it through. I don’t know how I cared for the kids when I felt like I was on auto pilot. I somehow managed to make meals for the children, and care for them (they are still alive!), but I don’t remember the details of those many days.

Music helped get me through some really tough days, and it helped keep me from a total breakdown at times as well. The song I mentioned earlier was one of those songs. IT was like they wrote a song that encompassed how I was feeling. Those time when I could barley get out of bed, yet I truly felt like an angel of mercy was there to pick me up and help me. I still can’t think about it without getting teary because of how special that was to me. I felt like I was being cared for at my lowest point, and this song helped me remember how it was I was able to get through those difficult days. I am grateful for good music and the effect it has on our lives. I have included the song for your enjoyment.



In life there are so many changes that occur on a regular basis it can be overwhelming. Some changes aren’t as big as others, but then sometimes life changes are HUGE! My family and I have recently had a lot of changes occur in a relatively short amount of time. While it has been a little stressful, I think these changes are working together for a greater good for our family. All of this has caused me to reflect recently on something I hadn’t thought of up to this point in my life.

Think about the times when you have made plans and they don’t quite go the way you hope, and you know what they say about best laid plans and whatnot. Anyway, I was thinking about this on a much grander scale, and I thought, “Does Heavenly Father feel this way as well sometimes?” Does He have plans for us and our lives, but then because of our actions or the actions of others things get messed up? How does He handle this type of disappointment on a much a larger scale, and with so many of His children? I wonder if it upsets Him as much as it upsets us when our best laid plans go to waste.

Of course we know that when  plans don’t go the way they should Heavenly Father is able to take them and make them better for our profit and learning. That is where the changes that sometimes happen can be good for us. It amazes me that we have someone that cares so much for us that He is able to even take the follies of life and us them for our benefit. Here is to accepting the change of plans and numerous changes that occur in our lives, and learning what we need to from them.