A Portrait of Who I Wish to Be

I wish I could be the most organized person. Where my days are planned out and I am diligent about getting up at a certain time, preferably well before the kids arise. I wish I had things all figured out and things came easier for me. I kind of have a plan for my life, but it definitely doesn’t feel concrete. The person I wish to be is more financially stable. I am tired of worrying about money all the time, it’s almost a full time job in and of itself.

I wish I was a better mom to my kids. A more patient, fair, just, and merciful mom.  I wish I always spoke in a soft voice and even tones towards my children. I wish I was more of the mother where I had homemade cookies and wonderful dinners each day. The kind of mom they remember with fondness and love.

I wish I could be more understanding as a wife. That every word I said came out the right way and never caused offense. I wish I could know what was needed and help my husband more. I also wish I could be a better friend to others. That I had the time and means to be there more when needed more often.

I wish I was a more diligent and obedient daughter to my Father in Heaven. I am sure His grace is sufficient to overcome all of my short comings, but I wish I could be so good that it wasn’t needed. Thankfully He has endless and unconditional love for me.

I wish I could be a better daughter to my earthly parents. I know I have let them down, and I feel like I’m never enough for them. I wish I could make them proud of me.

These wishes for myself are always in the back of my mind. I try and I fail constantly during this Earth life. Thankfully I have been blessed with a new day, however, and I can keep trying to make myself how I wish to be. With the help and grace of Heavenly Father I am able to try and try again. Hopefully in a year or five years from now I will have mastered some of these things and I will be closer to the person I wish to be. By the time I get there I’m sure I will have new wishes for myself, and new goals to reach. All in the name of growing and learning in this mortal journey.

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